10.30.07
hate
dulu i cudnt imagined, why ad always go against her boss’s instruction….
but when the whole situation experienced by tuan punya body, only then one wud understand…
my boss kept on whinning at me, complianing that i have been going against him all these while…
well known for his track records yang suka mengelat keje….grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…..i hate him so much….
p/s: zaza pls help me!
-referring to the last entry, perlukah aku bersyukur having a boss like him? 
10.29.07
contemplating through
God, are You there? He asked.
“Yes, I’m here,” God replied immediately.
“Why are You doing this to me? Why is this happening to me?” he said as tears after tears rolled down.
“People get sick. Patience will help you,” God said.
“I know why I get sick, God.”
“Tell me why.”
“I’m frustrated with my life. Everything I planned so well went down the drain after the accident.”
“Aren’t you happy you are alive though?”
“I don’t know. Sometimes I wished I were dead. But why, God? Why do You have to do this to me? Why didn’t You just give me what I want?” he asked God.
“Why didn’t you give me what I want?” God asked back.
The man was taken aback. It never occurred to him that God would want something from him. He was a nobody. What could God possibly want from him?
So he asked God. “What do you want, God?”
God answered. “I want you to be happy with what I have given you.”
sources from an entry from reader digest and also from this link
morale of the story, how many times had we being so thankful for what we already have, how many times we have appreciate people around us?
will we only realize we have not done so many things to value people around us only after we have lost them? and we have only did was ask and ask for MORE?
and soalan cepu emas: how many times we have actually perform solat sujud syukur, just to show how grateful n thankful we were to the Almighty…
p/s: how we thot our problems are so difficult to be through though it was just a tiny little hitch……(cant help to wonder how am gonna survive work in this complex place for the nest 3 years perhaps?)
ponder and pondering….
10.26.07
can u please?
luqman refuse to sleep at 3.30am last nite; insisted to watch disney channel at that point of time. accompanied him to 4.30.
And so i was late to work…
so i called my m41 officer..
me: sh****y. can u please informed boss that i wud be reaching office a little bit late?
her: sure puan….
me: ok thanks…
her: puan, puan, do u want me to punch card for you?
(that sounded very enticing……… 
)..how i wished i cud just say…YES, PLEASE….but instead i said: “no thanks, i’ll punch once i come in” and then i was wondering, did i actually said that? 
how honest i was, i too was pretty impressed wif myself after rejecting her offer…i wonder how my iman was so teguh
p/s: i wonder i wonder….so people, do u think its ok to ask somebody to punch in/out for u? :p
10.24.07
happy birthday dear
i have knew him long long ago, it has already more than 10 years since i first met him. He was never a romantic person by nature, or neither, he wud try to be one.
I do admit, there are times i secretly hope he wud have that little feel of wanting to be romantic, especially on occasions. however, most of the time, he never took the initiative to be romantic. and at the end of the day, i tend to be dissapointed.
but i guess, that was before, years ago. Yesterday, knowing him well, i e
xpected my wish to have lunch wif this birthday boy will experienced some glitches. and i was right. He rejected my call during lunch, and return my call an hour later, consoling me that he wud make it up for dinner.
dinner time, he still never around, he arrived late. though, i have already expect he wud turned me down, still-i was frustrated.
but knowing him, i intend not to drag further. he is ahmad kamil after all. he never will change. he is what he is.
and of course, i have luv him for what he was. and i will luv him for what he will be…but probably i wud have to kecik hati here and there as well… :p
happy birthday my love!
selamat hari raya
There were so many entries i drafted, but nothing seemed right; i wasnt sure where to start, or where it shud lead onto. well maybe i shud first write a disheartening news; where my son was admitted to the hospital a week before raya due to Bronchitis, everything was done thoroughly-x-ray, nebulizer etc…
he had been caught up wif fever, cough and flu on and off, the fever went away but the cough and flu remains; thats the whole reason why doc needs him to be admitted-thr the x-ray we found out his right lung was already filled with phlegms.
a day before raya, we managed to persuade the docs to let him go. upon release, we headed to seremban for our first raya celebration at seremban. 
alhamdulillah upon raya, he seemed fine…
it turned out to be a full attendance by all of his siblings, making the pics went purfect… 
and when its in seremban, luqman got to be wif his cousins, he was all the time having fun in high spirits…shud just let the pics tell itself! 
**************************************
at the evening, we went to my dad’s kg at banting, and the next day…at kjaya.
Though luqman jatuh dan berdarah dagu this raya as well as jatuh longkang etc, its always luqman who has always been jovial and cheerful wif his baju raya 
Special thanks to his ninda who have bought jubah for luqman from mecca….hehheheh 
p/s: pics will be sent via email tomorrow-am pretty occupied wif my other half’s birthday…happy birthday honey…i’d post an entry for u tomorrow….
10.15.07
some things cannot be bought
the plan was supposed to have an iftar wif lilie and ad last monday, but lili had something came up. and so we all went drifted apart wif our own plan.
since my hubby has not found any partner to accompany him to majlis iftar wif the motor sport, so i agreed to join after long persuasions. its not like i dont want to accompany him, but like usual norm, in a majlis where the celebrities and corporates are concerned, it makes me sick, wif everyone wearing diamonds, and extravagant dresses, i find myself awkwardly fit in.
so ok, i agreed finally. and i was informed that this iftar will be also inviting the orphans. my first impression was, “ala, anak-anak yatim sekarang suma terjaga…furthemore, most of the corporate companies had been sponsoring them all this while”-and so i presume these wud be the well-maintained one.
Due to the congestion traffic, we arrived few minutes late-and so we were arranged to table 9…from far, i saw the table 9-there were already 4 children started to have their first drink, wearing yellow baju melayu wif black sampin.
me: assalamualaikum
them: waalaikumussalam
me: boleh aunty duduk sini?
they nodded their heads simultaneosly, and starred.
and no, my expection was totally wide out of the mark-i was wrong. these children were not the posh anak yatim, these includes children who comes from kurang kemampuan ibu bapa. i saw their eyes, their eyes were glaring wif ttears, ecstatically pleased wif the numerous variety of foods.
looking at their eyes, i started to cry…
me: sape nama?
them: saya izat, hakim, aziz ngan ni rasul….
me: nape tak makan nasik dulu?
hakim: takleh, kitaorg kena solat dulu….
then my hubby came and asked their names again…however my hubby was pretty oblivious that there were 4 children, while he only asked for 3 names until…
aziz: abang…abang, naper abang tak tanya nama dia…..?
him: heheheh, sorry uncle tak perasan, yang ni saper nama….?
and few seconds… their ustaz came, and called them for solat…so they all left except for aziz,7 years old.
me: naper tak pegi?
aziz: pedas la …..
me: nah amik air aunty…
he drank and smiled, and frankly, that was the sweetest smile i ever seen thr this ramadhan….
**************************
me: aziz, best tak duduk sana?
aziz: tak best aaa
me: naper?
aziz: asik-asik kena rotan, tak bole degil sikit, mesti kena rotan…bla bla bla (he kept on whinning frustratingly…) and then he continued…kak…nanti kita jumpa lagik kat sini ye kak tahun depan?
me: kat mana?
them: kat sini la, tempat makan ni….akak kena janji, kena dtg sini lagik, makan ngan kitaorg, nanti akak jangan lupa kitaorg tau, dtg la asrama kitaorg..
that statement really had impinged my emotional state…i was touched! didnt know what to say, was only trying hard not to shed any tear in front of these 4 ahli syurga….
me: raya balik mana?
rasul:saya blik kg saya, mak ader lagik, adik beradik ramai, tapi aziz ikut saya blik, ayah dia dah meninggal, mak dia dah tak siuman…..
and so i turned to aziz, he smiled…
at his age, he still managed to smile and be calm, how i wonder how emotionally strong this 7 year old has been…i guess, some things money can never buy…
10.05.07
rite place and time
When my batch was promoted onto a higher post, it stirred nuisance to senior officers. Of course, some may not bother, but on top of everything, many irked to the fact that senior post like this wasnt supposed to be attained by our batch. Accordingly many of us stil young, more of near 30’s, and therefore, we were alleged of being inexperienced, or better word, we are green!
as per say, this was what happened at my office today;
my boss: bla..bla bla……”camner la tu nak jadik ketua unit? sabrina ngan zuasma pun dah naik 48″..
i wasnt really sure the connotation was alluding towards me, or she was just frustrated as she hast yet to be promoted m52.
my colleague, Azr**n-being the firestone, was busy repeating that my boss sarcastically alluding it to perli me.
well i frankly dont know…in my point of view, if i were to be in their shoes, i’d probably felt the annoyance too. But i guess, REALITY ALWAYS BITE, AND BEING PRACTICAL, I GUESS those people have got to face the facts.
I admit, we are so greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen, so not experienced, and probably in some sense naive. However i believe, we wud definitely make it, probably better than the those senior kpsu...(poyo ok!)
But anyway, lets just put it this way, we were just blessed wif murah rezeki this year by God’s willing…..we were just probably at the rite place rite time to take the chance…
p/s: so batch 1/2003…apa lagik, buktikan pada dunia? :p
-sth like this la…dulu masuk ptd gaji 1800++ je, sekarang ptd baru suma dah rm2200++…tapi nak buat camner, thats how thw world works! its hard to identify whose being fairly treated, and whose not….like i said, reality bites, and sometimes it hurts…
10.01.07
blessing in disguise?
For the last few days, i was too overwhelmed wif the fact that we are promoted. Until today.
I am now, all of sudden feared of the thing called responsibility, and worst-being placed for kewangan, trembling me.
her: Bila pn s***** nak masuk ni?
me : tak dpat surat lagik le AS.
her : puan, nanti saya pun diitukarkan, nanti puan kena buat la prestasi bil, laporan bil-bil tertunggak….bla bla bla
thats making me shaking gurl……honestly, i am now scady cat scared…… huhuhuhuhu …apa aku patut buat ni? takkan nak tolak? and so, my neurons have started to knot themselves up-haywired warning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ad….ko tolong aku ek?
p/s: allow me to offer my deepest disappointment to those who had fall short for the master’s application. Next year cuba lagi ok?
